A friend of mine posted on facebook yesterday about how her kids are tearing apart her house. She's tried everything and is as frustrated as the rest of us would rightfully be. Her very last statement caught me though, that she must be doing something terribly wrong for them to be acting this way.
I don't know if she really meant it, but don't we all feel like parenting failures when our children don't act like we want them to. I have my own list of terribly wrongs.
I am terrible at schedules and anything that has to be done consistently, like good bedtime routines. This must be why my children come out of their room 79 times every night. It's my fault.
My child continues to pee in her pants. It must be my lack of consistency with anything. I have too many ideas and I can't stick with any of them. I suck at potty training. I'm really beating myself up here.
The kids room is a disaster, along with the rest of my house. I pick up too much for them. I don't take the time to make them do it consistently. I'm seeing a theme here.
My kids act out in public. I'm doing a bad job.
They don't eat vegetables. It's because I didn't give them enough veggies when they were younger. I haven't put my foot down enough.
Let me ask you something.
What has God done wrong when we continue to make the same mistakes?
What has God done wrong in the process of training us that we just can't seem to get it right?
What has God done wrong when our bodies fail and we don't develop at the rate He designed us to?
God is the ultimate parent. He hasn't done anything wrong. He gives us grace and He isn't shaking His head and blaming Himself for our lack of obedience. He also doesn't force us to obey. It's our choice. He's most concerned about our hearts in the process and that's what I want to focus on in my own children. Forcing my hand will not create healthy adults who have a good view of God.
So, is it really my fault and am I really a bad mom when my kids mess up or don't develop at the rate I think they will? Haven't I told them the right way of doing things? Don't they know better? There are always improvements I can make. But, if God doesn't get it right the first time then I think I can cut myself (and my kids) some slack. After all, He's not the one getting it wrong. It's me.
A great resource, and what inspired some of this post is "Creative Corrections" by Lisa Whelchel.
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