The (And Near Death) Part (Pt. 2)

Multiple doctors, nurses, etc. came to my aid. Fortunately, the crash cart was being wheeled out because I didn't need it. The pain was worsening and I think I had my eyes closed for most of it because I mostly remember hearing, and not seeing, what was going on. The nurse could feel that my side was feeling up with blood and growing in size by the minute. I remember the doctor calling for a sonogram, and calling again saying that when she said NOW she meant NOW. We didn't wait for it. She told me I was bleeding internally, they would take me to surgery and repair it. They would remove my uterus if they had to. Needless to say, they didn't. And, did I have any questions? "Am I going to die?" I think I asked that, in between desperate prayers, until they transferred me over to the operating table in a very bright, white room.

I woke up in ICU. Coming out of anesthesia is a horrible feeling. I felt smothered. My throat was killing me from the tube that had been down it. They wouldn't let me drink anything in case I had to go back into surgery. It was so annoying. I begged every person who came in to give me one more ice chip. They said if that was my biggest complaint they were really happy. The pain in my side and abdomen was excruciating. Labor pain was nothing compared to this. I pushed the morphine pump as fast as I could for the next five days. When they took me to surgery they knew I was bleeding, what they didn't know was that I had ruptured my uterine artery. This artery pumps blood at a very high rate after you've had a baby. This complication is almost unheard of. To this day, they can't tell me why it happened.

Daddy giving baby a bottle. I have a lot of pictures like this,
of other people other than me in my hospital bed!
My husband stayed in my PP room while I was in ICU.

For five more days, I laid in ICU. I didn't shower. I didn't brush my teeth. I didn't spend more than 3 hours at a time with my baby. They did me a huge favor by jumping through many hoops to make those 3 hours happen. I didn't nurse and I didn't pump until about the 4th day. I don't think I got out of bed for 3 days or so, when my bowels woke up. They kept waiting for them to wake up and when they did I knew it! They had this little toilet that opened up out of a cabinet that I had to use. My heart rate was over 100 for the full five days, part of the reason I stayed in ICU so long. There was one doctor who made me extremely anxious, every time he came in the door my heart rate would sky rocket. One day, after he left, it stayed in the 120s for a good hour or so. I was burning up. I remember my parents came in the room and sat under one tiny blanket because it was so cold in there. The day my heart rate came down, I made them turn up the air. It was freezing in there.

Family picture in the ICU. The hospital gave me this pillow for hugging and coughing.
They also jumped through major hoops to get Beemer up to my room.
He shouldn't have been able pass the doors on the PP floor due to security reasons.

I finally was released to a room where I spent another 5 days. Seven of my days in the hospital I was getting 3 types of antibiotics by IV. They came in, in the middle of the night, and put a pic line in my arm. I had no idea what it was until it came out, about a 12" line that ran into my chest. If I'd known they never would have put it in me! That pic line kept them from having to continuously poke me as they were taking blood 3 times a day and also running my antibiotics multiple times.

Here I am, out of ICU, wrapping up my arm with a onesie and a barf bag
so I can take a shower without wetting my pic line.

When I made it back to my room, I was detached from the baby and still very anxious. I had to wait 24 hours for the pain meds to wear off before I could try nursing (It had now then been 6 days). Naively, I had decided in my mind I was going to nurse and never thought it wouldn't work. I know now it was a miracle I went home nursing a baby who had spent 6 days on a bottle. Not to mention, the blood loss I had should have killed any chance at nursing. I had received 10 units of blood. My body contains about 8. Needless to say, I wouldn't be here today if people didn't donate their blood. I am eternally grateful. I finally was able to nurse and then my doctor ordered a test on my ureter. They ran iodine through my arm and it came full force into my bladder. They wouldn't let me go to the bathroom until all the fluid had gone through my entire system and my bladder was spilling over. They needed multiple sets of xrays of the process. It was not fun. I was so mad because I then had to wait another 24 hours to nurse again. In the end of it, I went home nursing and was thrilled.

Slow feeding Beemer a bottle. They told us to do a suck, suck, twist the bottle routine.
This way he wouldn't think the bottle was super fast and awesome and not want to nurse.

Love him!

On the 10th day, we finally took our little baby home. I remember laying him in his bed and being amazed at how tiny he looked. I remember being in shock at how incredibly quiet our house was compared to the hospital, I wanted to cry. I loved every minute of it. Of course, I was exhausted, and still in bad pain for a few weeks. But, I was on a high from this little life that I now had. I am forever grateful to the doctors who took care of me and to the blood donors who literally saved my life. And of course, I am grateful to God, who ultimately protected me. I distinctly remember one of the doctors coming in and saying there was a three letter word that saved my life that day, AGE. I told him I thought it was God. I'm grateful to all my friends who poured into the hospital to visit me and little Beemer, we had so much support.

Back in my room, looking alive again!

 
If I could tell pregnant women anything I would say two things. One, c-sections are not minor surgery. Things can and DO go wrong. I'm sorry, but this opting for a c-section thing is NUTS. Be informed. Two, I really do believe that epidurals prohibit us from putting our body in position to birth a baby. Again, be informed, and consider that decision. I don't know if I have the guts to birth a baby without an epidural, but the pain I experienced was far, far greater than what I would have.

Snuggles in ICU.

Thanks for hanging with me and reading! (I assume somebody has made it to the end of this saga). And many thanks to God for this experience. It was a good/bad experience. I faced many fears and relied on God to get me through it. While I wouldn't wish it on anybody, I am glad to be able to say I've experienced a miracle in my life.

Back for a visit a few weeks later, one of my many great nurses.

I love you little man!