Waiting Room

There's the woman in the corner, tired, with a newborn. The baby is outside daddy because she's crying, newborn legs flailing about. I wonder if the new mom misses her or is relieved for a small break.

There are three pregnant women. Two, fairly far along. One is not, escorted by her mom I assume. Maybe she's finding out the sex today, but she's a little big for that. Maybe she's on bed rest and requires a ride to the office.

One other lady looks about as happy as I am to be here. She looks tired and emotional. I know the look.

The waiting room of my OB's office. Usually it is a happy place to be. I love my doctor and am generally here for better reasons like I assume these other women are. Usually I am leaving with the sound of a heartbeat echoing in my ears. A black and white role of pictures to hang on my fridge. Or a new knowledge of a little girl or boy.

There are eight of us in this waiting room. Statistics I've read say two of us have had a miscarriage. I am here because I am one of them. I will not be leaving with any pictures or sounds of a heartbeat. In fact, over a month, in five visits, I have yet to leave this office with a happy face. Today will be no different. Though I am peaceful, though I have a lot of happiness, I am with great sadness at the loss of a child I will never hold this side of heaven.

Written yesterday on a scrap of paper while in the waiting room of my doctor's office, perhaps the worst place to be during and after a miscarriage. There is more to come of this story. May it help break the silence and awkwardness of the miscarriage conversations. And may it comfort others. There is great comfort in knowing we are not alone. In fact, we are in very good company.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

My other miscarriage posts: 
You can read about the waiting period of my miscarriage here.
You can read about my medically-induced miscarriage here. You may find it graphic or disturbing. It was induced using Cytotec (also Misoprostol).