It's one of those days that turns into one of those nights where I lay in bed and think about what could have been.
Around lunchtime, I walked outside to a (very) slightly cooler than usual day. So, a few hours later we packed up and headed to the park. The temperature was rising so we picked the park in the shade. The one with the taller playground. Before the kids had finished lunch they ran off to the play. I packed up our lunches and followed behind. I set our bag down just in time to see Beemer walk right up behind Sister and give her a good push. She fell straight forward and toppled down the slide. She was fine. She cried momentarily and we left immediately.
But, what if. What if they were standing by the rock wall when he pushed her? What if she had fallen 10 feet to the ground. What would she have broken? Would she have died? Would she be ok or would we have a spinal injury on our hands? What if she landed straight on her head? What if the slide hadn't been three slides wide, would she have tumbled off the side? (I'm not saying these thoughts are rational!)
What if, What If, What If?
I'm sure you've had those nights. The ones where you lay in bed and imagine what could have happened. You replay what did with a different ending. I'm not doing it tonight. I will be clinging to the passage of scripture that has been the most influential to me in the last several years.
Philippians 4:4-9
What if we have a car accident?
What if they get hurt?
What if something happens to him at work?
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally,
brothers and sisters,
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if
anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
It's not true. She didn't fall off the rock wall. She didn't break a bone, die or end up in the hospital with a spinal injury.
So, when the what if's come knocking I begin to focus on the remember whens. I have to close that door right away before my mind runs away from me. I am learning to replace those thoughts with the times of faithfulness and protection on our lives.
What if she gets hit by a car?
Remember when you thought she followed you out of the house? You were right. She was behind the truck at the end of the driveway. Remember you whisked her back inside right as that truck drove by?
What if something happens to her?
Remember when she snuck into your car in the mid-summer heat garage while you were in the shower? Remember Beemer telling you where she was and you grabbing her red-faced sweaty self out of the car before she overheated?
What if something happens to me?
Remember when your artery ruptured after childbirth and you came out on the other side? Remember the doctors who were there, the nurse who saw the signs, the blood donors who saved your life? (You can read that story here)
So, when the what if's come knocking I begin to focus on the remember whens. I have to close that door right away before my mind runs away from me. I am learning to replace those thoughts with the times of faithfulness and protection on our lives.
Remember when you thought she followed you out of the house? You were right. She was behind the truck at the end of the driveway. Remember you whisked her back inside right as that truck drove by?
Remember when she snuck into your car in the mid-summer heat garage while you were in the shower? Remember Beemer telling you where she was and you grabbing her red-faced sweaty self out of the car before she overheated?
Remember when your artery ruptured after childbirth and you came out on the other side? Remember the doctors who were there, the nurse who saw the signs, the blood donors who saved your life? (You can read that story here)
Remember when the 18-wheeler came at you? Remember your grandmother was praying for you as he veered his way across traffic straight at your car? (You can read about it here)
Remember when she pulled their dresser over, her daddy heard it happen and the glider in front of it broke the fall?
Remember when he had to fight to get one in cuffs? He won.
Remember When, Remember When, Remember When?
Those things did happen. But, they don't require any extra imagination. God was faithful. Sure, we have had some close calls (and others that just spooked me). And, I would still tell you that God was faithful if something had gone terribly wrong. But, it didn't. All of those What If's are just that. What If's. They aren't real, they aren't true and they aren't worth my time.
Psalm 4:8
"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety."
